I should really change the title of my blog to "can't complete a series of posts to save her life"

Story of my life. Between work, sleep, not sleeping, attempting to figure out my life, and hanging out with friends before we all part ways, I've been stretched pretty thin. Didn't manage to be thankful on paper for something every day, but I do thank my lucky stars that I am still here and fortunate enough to have people that care and to care about. :)

Update on my life: I didn't get the extension I applied for, so come January, I will no longer be an intern with Disney. The next step hasn't exactly been figured out yet...but luckily I have options...I mean I guess I'm lucky to have options. But I am TERRIBLE at making any decisions, especially when it is of large-life-impacting magnitude. AHHH!!!

Option 1: Stay in Florida
  Probably my heart's top choice. I love it here, even if I don't work for Disney, I love Florida. I do have the option of going seasonal and working from there. I'd have to find another job, and roommates and stuff, but I think this is where I want to be.

Option 2: Move back to MO
  Logically, at least at first glance, the smart choice. The "safe" choice. But since when do I play it safe and not take risks? Lower cost of living, prob a way to work, still would have to find a job, but have roommate options...but really I'd just view it as temporary to save up to come back here.

I know where ever I want to be, if I put my soul and energy into it, I can make it work. Really what it comes down to is that if I go back to MO I'm going to feel like a failure. And it is going to be freaking cold. Middle of winter. Today I'm wearing sleeves in Florida because it is in the high 50s and it's been 80s lately. In November. Why would I want to leave this?

Family? Maybe, but I feel maybe an extended visit in Jan...and then poppin back for a weekend in February? Maybe hitting up MSU for a couple days, but really, I don't see myself being back there for long before I'm itching to get out. Especially to STL. I left for college and barely came back then, why would I want to live there now?

I need some guidance...and to figure this out. Not like anyone really cares what I think really. Of course my friends want me to come back--duh. I'm where the party is. I really think I'm just going to have to be selfish and do what I want. And not care--cuz me going back would be too selfless. Y'all just wouldn't understand, and I can't explain it. But I think I found where I belong, and being here has changed me so much that going back would just be foreign.


AHHHHH. :(